Rituals of Release: Honoring the Anger and Grief of Healing

After being held captive within the cold, sterile walls of a mental hospital, something in me broke open. Or more truthfully—something was violated. I was not there because I needed to be. I was there because the system put me there—against my will, without cause, and without justification. The trauma I carried was not mine alone—it was theirs, inflicted upon me through an abuse of power masked as “treatment” for a completely created major mental disorder needed to civilly commit.

What rose up in me afterward wasn’t illness. It was truth. It was the grief of being erased. It was the anger of being silenced by those who did not know me but proclaimed they did with their diagnostic labels now defining my essence. It was the helplessness of knowing that my body, my mind, and my voice were overtaken by a system that doesn’t listen, doesn’t need to listen, and can legally assault a person with drugs they do not need—just because it can, because it is sanctioned by the government, because these “gods” know all. And no one stops it.

But these feelings that arose in the aftermath—grief, anger, heartbreak—don’t just come from being forcebly held in a psychiatric institution. They are born any time we are oppressed and made less than. A toxic workplace, an abusive relationship, a family system that doesn’t allow you to speak your truth—any place that takes your power and silences your soul can leave a scar.

So I made space. I didn’t try to be calm—I let the anger speak as we do in shadow work. I screamed in private. I moved the pain through music—heavy metal that mirrored the fire inside me. I raged with intention. As it’s been said: rage against the machine—but do it in a sacred space, where your fire becomes your purification.

And when the waves of grief came, I didn’t fight them. I let them pour through. I cried and I cried. I walked in the woods and cried speaking to the heavens asking why such abuse is tolerated. I cried out not just for me, but for all I witnessed.  I lit candles. I played songs that matched the ache. And then, when I was ready, I shifted the frequency—gentle tones, Solfeggio healing music, and classical pieces that soothed what was scorched.

Water became my companion. I drank it to create movement & healing within. Our bodies are inherently water. I sat by rivers. I placed a fountain in my home. Water purifies and cleanses—not just the body, but the memory, the sorrow, the stories we’re finally ready to release.
And because water retains memory, I used intention. The heavy music came first—but not forever. The healing music came to re-pattern my cells, my story, my soul.

These rituals weren’t random. They were reclaiming what had been torn asunder. They were sacred. They reminded me:
I did not deserve what happened to me. But I get to decide what happens now.

If you’ve ever been silenced, shamed, had your truth oppressed, or you were wrongfully controlled—you’re not alone. And you are not broken. Make space for the grief. Let the anger rise. Be intentional. Be sacred with your truth.

You don’t need to have it all figured out.

Try These Gentle Steps to Support Your Healing:

🌸. Create a daily pause. Whether it’s 5 minutes of stillness, a prayer, or simply placing a hand on your heart—give yourself space to breathe and reconnect.

🌸. Speak your truth. Journal, voice memo, or share with a trusted friend. Let the truth live outside your body—it deserves to be witnessed.

🌸. Find a symbol of hope. A stone, a phrase, a photo—something to carry or keep nearby that reminds you: healing is possible.

🌸. Drink lots of water. Water creates movement within. Hydration supports emotional release and energetic flow. If possible, sit beside flowing water or place a small fountain in your home to invite calm, cleansing energy into your space. Pray holding a glass of water. Positive music and heartfelt prayer changes the structure of water. (see Emoto’s important work) Remember: our bodies are made up mostly of water and when we have been damaged by whatever life has held surround yourself with healing music and it will shift the very vibration of your cells moving you back toward health.

🌸. Magnesium—a gentle mineral that helped calm my overstimulated nervous system. I added it to my baths, sometimes took it before sleep, allowing it to soften the places in my body still clenching from the shock and violation.
Baths became sacred spaces—cleansing not just skin, but soul. I added salts, oils, herbs. I prayed in the water. I let my body float in stillness, in warmth, in reclaiming. And because water holds memory, I honored it with sound-- Solfeggio tones, Classical music, Healing vibrations.

🌸 Let yourself receive. Accept kindness, seek support, and welcome beauty where you find it. You don’t have to do it all alone.

There is a path forward—one breath, one step, one truth at a time. And never forget: your fire is holy and your tears are the song of your soul.  Let them speak in ways that heal and reclaim. Finally joy, just like the sun, will rise again from the depths of your being.

With love & blessings.